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OMG!!!!! I cant belive I actually remembered the password after so many years! *l* I'm going to have to start from scratch now, It's been so long, I don't remember how to do anything here XD

Perdida

I want to scream. I’m frustrated, and depressed, and angry. I feel like my life is meaningless…I hate it. It’s so…empty.

Now, I know I shouldn’t feel that way. I have people who love and care for me. I have every material thing I want and/or need. And I’m extremely grateful for that…but, there’s something missing. I don’t know what I want to do with my life at this point; nothing seems to appeal to me. I feel trapped…lost.

Crappy timing if you ask me though. This shouldn’t be happening to me right now. I should’ve gone through this kind of crisis like 10 years ago, not now! By this point in my life I should know exactly what I want. But dang it, I don’t… it’s driving me friggin nuts! And it’s wreaking havoc in my life. I’m moody, withdrawn, my tolerance levels have all but disappeared, my road rage has increased and I’m happy being a hermit. Nothing satisfies me. The only two things that come close to doing that are my books and my music, and even that doesn’t last. As soon as I close the book or turn the music off…poof! …the feeling’s gone and I’m left feeling gloomy again.

I wish I could just say that I need a man in my life or something. That would be easy to fix! Well, not really since I’m way too picky for my own good…but at least I’d be able to pinpoint what the problem is. But that’s not it. If it were that, I’d answer my phone calls and not find so many excuses not to go out.

It’s not that I need a vacation. I had an amazing vacation last year that I enjoyed thoroughly, and I have an upcoming trip in less than two weeks and I should be ecstatic about it, and I’m not. So that’s not it either.

Then what is it? What is it that I’m so desperate to find? What am I waiting for? Why do I feel so empty inside? I’m stuck in a rut and I can’t get out of it. Sure, all I have to do is take the first step to get out, I know that, that’s not the problem. The problem is…in which direction? What the hell am I looking for?!?!?!?!?!

I’ve told myself, countless of times, that I should stop daydreaming. I should just work what I have and concentrate on having a successful job, finding someone and starting a family….you know, what most other people want. I’ve tried it, but I just can’t see myself doing that, I mean, at least not right now. Sure, I’ll probably want that sometime in the future, but not right now.


And for some odd reason, I keep thinking of Ariel in The Little Mermaid when she says “I want more”…I just wish I knew what that “more” was.

Apr. 6th, 2006


Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Name
Age
House
Family Line
Dated Ron Weasley
You are well known for The best witch/wizard Hogwarts has ever seen!Wo0t!
Percentage of student body you shagged - 91%
How do the staff and students feel about you Ahhh!! I want to have your babies!!
This Quiz by lady_ameily - Taken 388697 Times.
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New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes




Yes well, it wasn't Ron I was dating, it was one of the twins....never did figure out if it was George OR Fred tho'.

91% huh? That's what I get for hanging out with nagarebhoshi ...bad habits tend to rub off on ppl

Celebrando el centenario de Yani!!!!

April 2nd was nekochan_nya BDay!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!

*claps hands to the beat & sings*

"Que le cre'ca el pipi,
Que le cre'ca el pipi,
Que le cre'ca, que le cre'ca,
Que le cre'ca el pipi"

...CON LA "O"!

"Que le cre'ca el popo,
Que le cre'ca el popo,
Que le cre'ca, que le cre'ca,
Que le cre'ca el popo"

...CON LA "E"!

"Que le cre'ca el pepe,
Que le cre'ca el pepe,
Que le cre'ca, que le cre'ca,
Que le cre'ca el pepe"

....CON LA....okok, you get the idea



HAPPY 43RD BDAY!!!!! ....Or is it 45?....or 52?....shit I've lost count.


*lol*

*will probably get her ass kicked for that*

Memes >^..^< ....

Somos un pais 3er mundista

No podia creer lo que estaba viendo en la television el dia de ayer. Parece mentira que hayamos llegado al punto que hemos llegado. En vez de mejorar vamos de mala en peor. Con cada dia que pasa echamos mas para atras. El salvajismo demostrado por los protestantes reunidos ayer en el Capitolio dio verguenza.

NO estoy de acuerdo con lo que el gobierno esta haciendo, homenajeando a "reymundo y to'elmundo" lo tengan merecido o no. Pero tampoco estoy de acuerdo con el motin que formaron los protestantes ayer. Parecian salvajes, vandalizando el lugar, agrediendo personas y hasta quemando una bandera norte americana. Creo que eso fue una de las cosas que mas me molesto. Entiendo que quemar una bandera es una de las peores faltas de respeto que alguien puede cometer. No me importa de donde sea la bandera...E.U., Puerto Rico, Cuba, Japon, Rusia, Brazil......NO IMPORTA....NO HAY EXCUSA. Lo unico que me dio lastima fue que la policia no tenia el permiso de defenderse propiamente...osea, que lastima que no le entraron a macanaso limpio a todo el mundo. Xreo que tengo suerte de no ser policia porque hoy estaria presa, no creo que me hubiese podido contener...presa pero con gusto pq hubiese enviado a dos o tres al hospital.

No estoy en conta de protestar...pero si estoy en contra de cosas como las que pasaron ayer. Se les olvido como actuar como gente civilizada y parecian animales. Hacen que a uno le de verguenza de decir que es puertorriqueño.....despues se quejan cuando la policia les cae encima....si se lo buscan! Que rayos nos esta pasando?

"an orifice of my very own!"

I just got done watching the Dark Kingdom:The Dragon King mini-series and I must say I was surprised. I had seen the previews for it back in December in the sci-fi channel and had been waiting for it ever since. So I sit down to watch yest. and the narrator starts talking about Wotan (Odin) and the Valkires and Valhalla and yadda, yadda, yadda, and I really got excited 'cause I love norse mythology and it's not very often you get to see movies based on that. But then the story starts and within 5 mins I realized what I was watching and all I could think was "Dammit this is gonna be some crappy rendition of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen"...and I got upset. I hate when ppl take an existing story (be it opera, book, etc.) and try to make it into a movie because it usually ends up being crap (like... my fave Dean Koontz book, Phantoms...haven't seen the movie? Don't bother! It's with Ben Affleck! *GAG*) And yeah, sure, not all of them are that bad...the LOTR and HP movies have been pretty cool...and yes, the Relic is ok I guess (if you haven't read the book)...but most of them end up being crap. And this wasn't even gonna be a big blockbuster movie with big name actors or anything, so it kinda made me even more skeptical about it. I thought that they would probably think nobody would watch so they won't bother with the story or the spec. effects and it's gonna be a mess. Still, I decided to force myself to watch it. I had been waiting for 4 months to see this, I was gonna sit my ass down and watch no matter how bad it was.

I'm glad I did. It wasn't bad at all. It's not the exact story of course, they changed a whole bunch of stuff, changed a couple of names, added and eliminated characters and all that, but overall, the story was pretty much the same....and Im talking about the last 2 cycles of the opera (Siegfried and Gotterdamerung). No gods appear in the movie, they're just mentioned here and there, and Brünnhilde is the queen of Iceland (instead of Wotan's daughter and a Valkire), we also see Siegfried, and Fafner, and Gunthar, etc....even the Nibelungs make a brief appearance. And the acting wasn't that bad either(sure, they may not be Oscar worthy performances, but they were A LOT BETTER than many of the actors in the sci-fi original movies they give *rolls eyes*). I have to say my fave. was Kristanna Loken playing Brünnhilde...she kicked ass. And it was weird to see Robert Pattinson (H.P.'s Cedric Diggory) all scruffy looking, but he still looked cute. The special effects were pretty cool, altho I kinda wished Fafner would've spoken to Siegfried.

I'd definitely watch this again...and I'd love to buy the soundtrack. I really liked the musical score too...specially the closing theme "Riding on the Rocks," by Katie Knight-Adams.


One more thing I have to say about the movie before I leave... I liked the fact that they didn't try to change the ending. Sure it's sad, and you kinda wish they could have a long. happy life together, but, the story's not supposed to have a happy ending and I'm glad they kept it that way.


EEK! now it's off to bed with me..it's 4am and I have to be up by 7:30am!

"Toñito, Toñito...Toñito ya llego"

*lmaorh* I just heard something that brought back good memories and I have to write it down here so that I'll never forget about it again.

I was listening to Z93 and to introduce the DJ they started playing that Toñito Cabanilla jingle that was so famous in the 80s:

"Toñito, Toñito;
Toñito ya llego.
Toñito, Toñito,
Toñito ya llego."

...and it reminded me of the school photographer we had when I was in high school. He looked like Toñito Cabanillas and whenever he would come by to take pics of a school event or class pics or anything we would start singing that out loud to him and clap our hands to the beat...and he would get sooooooo majorly pissed off *lol* He got so mad at us once he stormed out of the cancha once and told our teachers that if they didn't control us (meaning "shut us up") that he would'nt take our class's pic *lol*

SG-1 quote of the day

Jack O'Neill: Do you read the Bible, Teal'c?
Teal'c: It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?
Jack O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.

D'oh!

I can't believe this, I actually forgot what I was going to write about *l* I guess that's what happens when you're doing several things at the same time...una de esas cosas se queda guindando.

Anyway,I'm almost done with Wit'ch Gate but I'm kinda stuck...I want to finish reading it and at the same time, I don't. I did something that drives Sara nuts....and I know it's a really bad habit of mine. I had actually stopped doing it for a couple of years but started doing it again recently.....I kinda read the end beforehand. I know, it makes me mad too because it takes all the fun out of it, not to mention the fact that I read about a certain character's horrible death and it killed me. I cried more than when Nee'lahn died...and now I kinda don't want to get to that part of the book. I hate it when authors have to go and kill one of your fav. characters, and unfortunately for me it happens in almost every book I read. Actually, Mr. Clemens kills off several characters in this fourth book, it was a very frustrating book...and that's all I can say since Sara has only read the first two books and it would spoil it for her. All I can say is that if he kills Fardale or Meric in the last book I'll never, ever buy another James Clemens book...ok so I guess that was kinduva spoiler right there. OK, ok, no more or she'll get mad at me.


Today's Thursday and that means practice tonight....and even tho I should go, I don't feel like going. SE que en algun momento tendre que ir...pero no me da la gana de ir todavia. Total, no hago falta ya que me imagino que esten practicando para la gira de este año....y como yo no voy, *shrugs* puedo ir cuando y SI ME DA LA GANA de ir. Aunque en parte me alegro de no ir. Eso quiere decir que me puedo ir con Yanira y Aurie para Disney y no tendria a alguien obligandome a acostarme temprano y no dejandome salir ni regañandome pq no quise entrar a un museo o algo por el estilo....puedo hacer lo que me de la gana...and that's a plus. Tambien le podria decir a Joey que voy a estar en Orlando para que suba a verme.

Maybe I should't be so upset about it, I mean, according to Sara it's MY fault I'm not going... *shrugs* maybe she's right, maybe not. What really bothers me about it is that I spent a friggin month in the hospital because I kept leaving my docs appointment for later. Why? For several reasons....but one of them was that I had promised my director I would go to as many concerts as I could, and I wanted to keep my promise. I even went to that stupid concert in Bellas Artes which was a disaster. And now I find out that they're taking the new ppl who started less than two months ago...the trip is in June....yeah, they're gonna do great! Last trip she took ppl who had been with us for a year and THEY didn't know most of the lyrics. But hey, I'm sure they'll be able to learn all the new lyrics plus the old ones for when they have to improvise...all in less than 4 months. Sure! Good luck to them. I just hope my director doesn't get on my case for not going to any of the future concerts. I mean, I will go to some of the concerts, yes, but, in the event that I can't go to one...or two...or three, I won't get all frustrated or bent out of shape about it. If I can't go, I can't go. If I'm sick, then I'm sick. I won't risk my health for anything or anyone anymore. If it's raining, I don't have to go either. And she can't tell me what she did last time 'cause this time it's not gonna work...because if she doesn't need me for the concerts oustide of PR then she doesn't need me for the concerts here either *shrugs*. And if I where Yanira and Aurie, I'd think the same.

Am I being a bitch? *shrug* Maybe.....but that's just how I feel right now.